Dean's Thoughts on Entertainment

Michael Keaton

I saw Live from Bahgdad on HBO two nights ago, which is about the CNN news team that remained in Baghdad during the Gulf War. Of course, having a new war in Iraq made the movie much more viable and interesting. Anyway, Michael Keaton was the star of this movie and watching it made me realize how much I miss him. Like all of you, I loved the first 2 Batman movies and loathed or at least groaned at the two follow-up movies, mostly because of the loss of Michael Keaton and additionally Tim Burton. In retrospect I have liked just about every Keaton movie and some of which I love very much like Beetlejuice. Even the goofy comedies like Multiplicity were good. Ever since Keaton was dropped from the Batman series his career has declined into occasional movies, many of which are Family fare which I tend to skip like Jack Frost (Although I hear that was good). I have since revised my list of the Top Ten movie stars that I want back. And they are.

Top Ten Movie Stars I WANT BACK...NOW!!

1. Michael Keaton

Yeah we went through this...next.

2. Michael Biehn

After seeing him rip it up in Deadwood, I'm ready for him again. He ruled the late 80's early 90's (Aliens, The Abyss, The Terminator, Navy Seals, The Rock) and after all that overexposure has died off I am ready for a new bunch of movies with Michael Biehn. Although realistically I will have to settle for him in Deadwood and maybe a few movie roles, mostly of the B variety.

3. Sylvester Stallone

He sinks deeper and deeper every day, and we need to resurrect him to movie stardom. I think the first step would be to release special editions of his movies that are actually special (Rocky and Rambo both had little by way of features, although Copland is apparently awesome). I want a 2 disk special edition of Tango and Cash featuring audio commentary from Stallone and Kurt Russell and a fold out poster of them punching that guy in the nose at the same time.

4. Michael J. Fox

Yes, Parkinsons makes things tough, but I was thinking of making him a super hero with gloves. This should eliminate his hand problem and let us revel in that wonderful double-taking astonished face that he mastered.

5. Dan Aykroyd

He's been demoted to Cameos and bit parts, maybe due to his gaining of weight. Although in the not too old Gross Point Blank he showed all the comedic chops of when he was in his prime. I would love a Ghostbusters 3, but that may be one of those things that we will never get.

6. Chris Farley and John Candy

This would require some resurrection powers, so I am directing this one to God whom has apparently done that before. These two should not only be brought back to life, but be put in a movie together immediately after resuming breathing. I can't imagine how funny that would be, I mean just think of the Father-Son dialogue those two could have in a zany caper movie. These things will happen in heaven.

7. Tim Curry

This man is epic, and he found his way into most Family/Adventure movies in the 90's but since the turn of the century he has been scarce. I would love a return of Pennywise the clown from IT, but we would have to get Stephen King to sign on and he is apparently retiring. Although, they did make all those crappy Children of the Corn sequels. Maybe IT 2 is possible.

8. Rick Moranis

He got stuck in Disney mode for awhile, maybe his kids pressured him into it. But either way its time for a comeback. Maybe him and Michael J. Fox together...why do I feel like they should have done that before, or maybe they did???

9. Val Kilmer

Even though he is partially responsible for the decline of Michael Keaton, I miss his mainstream big-budget roles. Even if The Salton Sea, and Wonderland, and his other Indie movies are good I want some Big Screen action.

10. Hulk Hogan

Now that wrestling is over, maybe its time for him to take on serious roles. Ones where he ponders the universe and his place in it, and then breaks a chair over someone's face. I was thinking maybe he could tag up with Jackie Chan and rock some aging house on a world of goons. With Hogan deliving the Great Boot and then a mind melting Leg Drop, while Jackie owns on someone with a rake and an American Flag.

You could slate all of next years Summer movies with this list. Someone should be making calls already. Can't you picture Hogan standing over a man that Jackie Chan impaled with an American FLAG???? This is MONEY!! Why do I never get what I want?!?!?!

As you can see I am truly a child of the 80's and should be mocked and scorned. I know this full well. And as such I think this list is Gnarly and Rad simultaneously, so Eat My Shorts.